What influence do you have over your friends and/or family? Why????

How to Deal With Your Friends or Family Members Who Want to Play Matchmaker

This article discusses some tips that may help have better luck when your friends and/or family members decide to play matchmaker to help you find that perfect match.

If you're tired of finding dates on your own, you may want your friends or family members to become matchmakers. Having those you care for the most find you a date can be a surprisingly viable alternative for those tired of the single's scene. These people know what type of person you are and may know other people who may share your interests. Still, even Cupid misses from time to time. Setting some guidelines before-hand will increase your chances of success.

Tell them about your pet peeves

You may have already told them about several of your bad dates. By telling the matchmaker your pet peeves before they start looking for a potential date, you may lessen your chances of being set up with someone you find obnoxious or disgusting.

Tell them what type of a person you're interested in

Your mother's idea of a good partner could be quite different from the person of your dreams. Before she or any of your other friends and family members start looking for potential dates, you'll need to tell them just what type of person you're looking for. Do you even want a committed relationship right away? Do you want someone who is as goal-oriented as you are? Do you want someone who has a higher education, or does it even matter?

Don't be afraid to tell them you don't like their dates.

If you're not attracted or interested in the person you've been set up with, you may want to tell your matchmaker. If you don't tell your matchmaker as soon as possible, he or she may continue setting you up with the same type of people. By being honest with your matchmaker, you may prevent some of the tension between you and your loved ones that may occur after being continually set up with unhappy matches.

As your friends try to find the right match for you, you may want to be aware that there will probably be many unsuccessful matches along the way. Although you may not find the right match, you may want to try to show your appreciation as much as possible. Remember, they simply want you to be happy.

A green You is a great role model for your friends, family, and colleagues. Let your actions speak as loud as your words.

• Teach others about the impact their lifestyles make. Suggest ways of minimizing your eco-footprint that have been successful for you and share your experiences in becoming greener.
• Incorporate your eco-conscious decisions to life at home, at school, at church, at work, and while shopping. You can make a statement everywhere you go.
• Use the power of your vote to support candidates and initiatives that promote biodiversity, environmental protection, and green living.
• Share your green habits with the children in your life. Because, after all, your green living is preserving the planet for generations to come.
• Throw a green party that features only local foods and recycled or reusable products. Ask your friends to walk or ride their bikes to your house.
• Have other biodiversity-friendly green living ideas???

Support from your Family & Friends

Through our daughter's diagnosis, we have learned that there is a huge spectrum of how families and friends react. In our case, we expected family to run to our side but what we didn't know was that they (mostly) wouldn't have the slightest clue about how to react or how to help. In fact, there was so much family reaction that we had to deal with (e.g. console crying family members repeatedly over the phone, etc.) that we wanted to shut down and not talk to anyone. One generous family member agreed to get updated by us and then create an e-mail update for everyone else so we wouldn't have to deal with all of the calls and all of the repeating ourselves. This person also made cash instantly available to us.

As for friends, you learn quickly what "friends" means. On the whole, friends liked to make the perfunctory call and tell us how sorry they were that our daughter has cancer....yadda, yadda, yadda...and tell us that if there was anything they could do to let them know...but the calls were quick and far between. There were shining exceptions, such as a friend and her daughter that showed up repeatedly with everything from stuffed monkeys to shampoo and conditioner...always with kind words of encouragement and a promise to return. Another shining exception is our daughter's band instructor at school....she organized fundraisers, a birthday party, and other financial arrangments and has continued to be a pillar of strength. However, the majority of our friends - and our daughter's - slowly drifted away and (it seemed) didn't really know how to help out.

I think part of the problem is that when people ask what you need you are so numb and so much in shock that you don't have an answer ready. I started a mental list for IF and WHEN I have the opportunity to help someone in our situation in the future. Things commonly needed are: housekeeping (including laundry and/or drycleaning); food (especially frozen, pop-in-the-oven type meals); gift certificates (especially for pizza, etc. when you are in the hospital); pet care (including taking temporary custody of pets, minor vet care, bathing/fleas, etc.); lawn care (don't ask...if you see a need, just do it); and other simple chores (like cleaning out a car, cleaning bathrooms, watering plants, etc.). Other things that are useful are for people to make donations to cancer research organizations (like this one), give blood, volunteer, etc. These are actual, physical things people can do and, if you have these ideas ready, also give you something to say when you run out of ideas.

The bottom line with family and friends is to understand that nobody knows what you are going through unless they have been through it themselves. You cannot predict behavior of either your friends or family....and you have to be patient and know that they will most likely learn as they go...like you are learning. Things will even out eventually and you will be able to deal with everything you need to, irregardless of your friends' or family's ability or skills. You will get through this.